Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!

What do you call a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone.

What vegetable might you find in your basement?
Cellar-y.

What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A Brussels' scout.

What vegetable do you need a plumber for?
A Leek.

Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled.

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids don't eat broccoli.

What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley.

How do you make a peach into a vegetable?
Step on it and make it a squash.

Why did the orange stop running?
Because it ran out of juice.

You know how to make gold soup?
With 24 carrots.

What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Why are you stalking me?

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
Because he couldn't find a date!

What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?
We have to stop meating like this.

What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?
Someone who lost their veg-inity!